Naija Girl – The Introduction

March 11, 2009 – The Introduction
In relationships I’m what I like to call a hopeful romantic. I’m not ashamed or reluctant to give my 98% of my love — I have 2% on reserve just to be safe– no matter what the other half of the union is contributing. I fully believe I’ll get my just deserves… eventually. So many may think this generous love giving leaves me frequently heartbroken. Let’s be clear, I am quite clever about my choices in men. Moreover, I always make sure to take responsibility for my own happiness. It probably sounds a bit complicated now but hopefully in weeks to come, you’ll get to know me, my heart, and both of our experiences in this blissful journey of love.

I’ve been in a handful of relationships, mostly with Naija men- and there were a couple of ‘others’ here and there as well- but never an American, no offense, it just won’t sit well with my parents. I was born in Nigeria but have spent most of my influential years here in the states. And since my siblings and I are first generation “Americanized”, we still have solid foundations of Naija culture. And it may be because of this that I’m still very traditional when it comes to relationships. But I must warn that these traditions are often conflicted with my innate independent attitude. Mummy tells me I’ve been independent since I could crawl. That must explain why I would rather be the breadwinner of my family… why I’m skeptical of any man that consistently flaunts their wealth… and why I opt split the bill on dates. Yet among all this is a submissive soul. Well, at least semi-submissive. I believe my mate should never go hungry around me nor should my (future) husband come home to a messy house. In marriage as well as in the courtship years, I need to be my man’s primary source of nurture and nourishment. If he demands a delicious home-cooked meal, I’m there. If he needs me to cancel previous engagements to see to his well being, I’m there. I vow to be as close to a broom and mop as I am to my blackberry.

So far I may seem like a dream come true for some men but don’t pull out the engagement rings just yet. Like most Nigerian children, my parents expected me to be at the top of my classes in school… And I’m proud to say that for the most part, I exceeded their expectations. Though I may not flaunt it, I take pride in my education. I consider myself extremely logical and sufficiently knowledgeable. Because of all of this, I’m heavily devoted to my opinions. Therefore (mostly in relationships) I talk back, I make sure to have the last word, and I believe I’m always right– almost always. So by any means necessary, He has to be the one to see things my way. As you’ve obviously guessed, this doesn’t sit very well with the authoritative nature of the typical Nigerian man.

So there you have it, my dichotomous existence. I rely both on my logic and my emotions. Here I am, loving hard and trying to be smart about it. It sounds cool in theory but to tell you the truth, I’m a mess and I spend most of the time deciding whether to follow my heart or my brain. I deserve a pat on the back for the front I put up of being in total control.

So I plan to use this blog to let out my experiences and how I’ve grown in love through past and current relationships. I might even randomly vent about issues with my current relationship. And since I consider myself a student of love, I will definitely incorporate aspects of the relationships around me – those of friends, family, and random folks which I see as learning opportunities. And several things can come out of this: 1) readers will indirectly gain advice on how or how not to deal with certain relationship issues, 2) readers can rest well knowing that other people face the same crap that they do in their relationships, or 3) readers will simply be entertained with details of other people’s experiences with love.

I can’t promise daily or even weekly entries… I’ll be quite sporadic with this; unfortunately consistency is not one of my strong points. But before I close I’d like to thank Ômo Naija Magazine for this medium to express my joys, frustrations, highs, and lows with the best feeling in the world, LOVE! Till next time…

Wholeheartedly,
NGiL

Tags: love